


Catalog

by bagheerita



Series: my name forevermore [9]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alien Biology, Dialogue-Only, M/M, Orgasm, Wraith (Stargate), Writing Exercise, not gonna lie it gets kind of silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:02:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23604988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bagheerita/pseuds/bagheerita
Summary: John feels like it's time to take a more exhaustive inventory.
Relationships: John Sheppard/Todd the Wraith
Series: my name forevermore [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1159649
Comments: 16
Kudos: 43





	Catalog

**Author's Note:**

> If any story could be divorced from the series this one is it... It started out as a test to see if I could write a complete story in just dialog, and then I did, and it made me laugh so... I'm sharing. 
> 
> I imagined this as taking place after "Regina Donum" (Spoilers? I mean, surprise, the two main characters of the series survive the story...) but it's finished now and it really doesn't matter; it works as being a post "Talk Not to Me of a Name Great in Story" moment, too.

"Do you even _have_ fingerprints? Don't laugh at me. I mean... Look, here. See?"

"Yes. Wraith skin is smoother, though there are grooves in it."

"For humans the pattern of the grooves on the fingers is unique."

"Ahh. There are many things about you that are unique."

"Stop that, I'm busy."

"Are you starting with my hands then?"

"No, I'm gonna start here."

"You wanted _me_ to stop, John, I don't think _that_ is going to help. ... Kissing me will not change anything."

"Mmm, maybe not but I wanted to. Now, let's start at the top."

"You do enjoy putting your hands in my hair."

"You're one to talk."

"Can I be faulted when you have such a delightful amount of it?"

"Your hair is nice. It's thicker. It's, mmm, easy to get a good grip on."

"How long did you intend for this process to take? If you were quite finished..."

"None of that, I'm still working."

"By all means, Sheppard, continue."

"Okay, down from the hair we've got forehead. Hmm, eyebrows, that's a big difference. But I'm liking this ridge. Is this bone right under here?"

"You intend to discover the truth of that with your teeth?"

"Do you _want_ me to discover it with my teeth?"

"Hmmm. It is not unpleasant."

" _That's_ a ringing endorsement. What about this?"

"Ahh, yes, Sheppard. That is... _there_ , yes."

"Who'd have thought? Now, ears. This curve here is a bit sensitive, am I right?"

" _John_."

"Check on that. Hey, no biting."

"Should you wish to explore the possibility further..."

"Patience. Mmmm. Have you thought about earrings?"

"Ear rings? You mean pierced through the flesh of the ear? Wraith have these."

"Really? Because I was going to say I think your leather biker cool-guy look could use some earrings."

"Release me from your task and I will find you some."

"Fat chance. You can do that later. Okay, I have to go back to the middle, do this right. No eyelashes. How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Not _that_. Todd, stop it."

"I believe you have already commented on quite a few features you enjoy. Perhaps you could pick one and continue this at another time."

"Mmmm, no. I'm gonna look in your eyes for a bit."

"Ahh, this is something you need to catalog?"

"I dunno I just... They're yellow, but also, kind of green, and with bitty flecks of gold. I like it."

"Your own orbs are rather a mixture of colors. Brown, yet green as well. And the smallest bit of grey, here."

"We call that hazel."

"You really do have a name for _everything_."

"Not this. This color I'm going to call 'Todd.'"

"Original."

"Descriptive."

"What are you... Ahh, the marking?"

"It comes down your nose right here. It doesn't feel different?"

"No. ... And you are distracted again."

"Hey, it's called multitasking. So, what do you actually sense with these anyway?"

"A combination of things. The sensory pit adds a layer of information to most scents. I can detect temperature variations, which is useful in limited light spectrums. And there are... I do not know how to explain it, but most emotions have a... sense, like a scent but not the same."

"Is that so? What am I feeling.... right... now?"

"Impatience."

"I think you're projecting."

"I think you're right. Would you care to direct your attention lower?"

"No, I think I want to stop here for a bit."

"Sheppard, wh-mmm."

"Yeah, I thought you'd like that."

"Mmmm. ... You are looking smug, Sheppard. It becomes you."

"Well, I've been here before, I like this stop. I know how to get what I want here."

"Is that so?"

"It damn well is."

"Perhaps I should take an inventory as well. Of your human characteristics? I will grant that you employ your blunt teeth in most fascinating ways."

"'Fascinating' is it. I think your sentences make too much sense. I think ... Mmmm, I'm just gonna, yeah, nibble my way down this jawbone and..."

"Sheppard, you're being silly."

"Mhmm. And this little tuft is like a handle. I lift it up and under here is..."

" _Mmmm_."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

" _Sheppard_."

"Oooh, is that a hiss?"

"Bite harder and you'll find out."

"That sounds like an invitation."

"Ahh, _John_."

"Right here."

"John."

"This little hollow, above the collarbone? Yeah, right there."

" _Mmmm, John_."

"Shit."

"Is there a problem?"

"I'm wondering if you're right. Maybe I should just stop here. I could..."

"If you're stopping there then _this_ hand is ahead of proceedings."

"You're no fun."

"You started it."

"Alright, fine. Let's move on."

"You are being rather thorough. Should I turn over?"

"Not yet, I'm gonna go back up the back."

"You really are thinking ahead."

"Stop distracting me. Upper arms. I don't suppose..."

"What are you... Is this an area that is sensitive on humans?"

"...No."

"Your turn is coming, Sheppard."

"Mmmm, you know- Hey, I never noticed this before but, is your heart lower than it's supposed to be?"

"I can assure you that it is precisely where it is supposed to be."

"No but- Here, feel this."

"Yes."

"And here's you. See it?"

"Ahh, I do see. There is a space here, above?"

"Here? You know you've also got more bones here than you're supposed to."

"What is this 'supposed'? As you may have noticed, Wraith do not have wings as the Iratus does."

"You traded wings for increased upper body musculature?"

"It seems to have been an advantageous trade."

"Ha."

"Perhaps a demonstration?"

"What are you.... _Shit_. Shit, shit, okay that is fucking sexy and you're going to be doing that again shortly, in the future."

"You are _still_ not distracted?"

"Are you kidding? Look at all the things I'm learning. So, about this space, below your collarbone, whatever you call this."

"This space is for the organ that controls enzyme production."

"It connects to the arm across here then? And that shifts everything a little lower in the chest."

"In general, we have not needed to devote as much room as humans do to digestion."

"I see the tradeoff. I've noticed that your arm is more sensitive here, below the wrist, on the right."

"You've skipped ahead a bit, Sheppard. Have you no comments about the _rest_ of the arm?"

"Actually, I was getting there, smartass. The _question_ was, is it sensitive all the way up? I'm guessing that the organ is closer to the surface at the joint, and that's why this spot in particular. _So_ , it follows that...."

" _Ahhh, John._ "

"Mmmm, thought so."

" _John_."

"Mhmm. I'm guessing by the hand in my hair that you want me to explore this a bit more fully?"

"Mmm. I do want that."

"Well, that's great then, because I would love it, too. Hey, what if I..."

" _Mmmm_. _Yes_ , John. Mmm."

"Heh, okay. ... You think you can come from this?"

"No. Not without a mental push. Or... I don't suppose you have a hand to spare?"

"Um, no. Wait. If I... Does that work?"

"Hmm, perhaps it is better if you do not divide your attention quite so much."

"I'm not going to bite your hand off or anything."

"I was rather concerned on your behalf, John. Also, the teeth were nicer at the higher joint."

"Noted. Like this?"

" _Mmm_ , yes. Your fingers are lovely."

"You sound drunk."

"And that is entirely the fault of your asinine quest."

"Harsh. I thought you were starting to get behind it."

"You seem quite intent on driving me insane."

"Alright, alright, let's move on. I remember one of my favorite spots is right around here."

"By the _hive_ , John, you are _intent_."

"Yeah, but you love me anyway. What happens if I combine that wrist massage you were enjoying with a nibble at my favorite rib?"

" _Ahhhh_."

"Duly noted. God, I fucking love this spot."

"You, hmm, are skipping ahead again."

"Yeah, but I've given this area a pretty thorough going-over before. I'm not really looking for anything new, just hitting the high points."

"How high?"

"Bit lower?"

"That was my thought."

"Getting pushy again."

"Sheppard, if you-"

"Alright, alright, I've got an idea. Give me your hand, here. And I'm gonna get one hand on this. Yes?"

" _Yes_."

"Okay, let me know what you think."

"Sheppard, I think you are dividing your attent- _Ahhhh_. Mmmm. .... Mmm, John. _John_."

"So, you liked that."

"You are smug again, Sheppard."

"I can't help it. I like that look on your face."

"What look?"

"Enormously pleased with yourself."

"You could say that I'm well pleased with _you._ "

"I stand by what I said."

"Then allow me to please you."

"I want to finish this first. Now, where're we at? Hips?"

"Such dedication, truly. "

"Don't mock. I'm going to be nosing around here for a bit and you don't want to annoy me."

"Or else?"

"Well you seemed to really like my nibbling on your elbow, just wondering what you think of me finding something down here to nibble on."

"I'm intrigued when I feel you intend for me to be cowed."

"Is that so? I mean, I have noticed that your skin, especially here, is thicker than mine."

"You _are_ very sensitive _here_."

"Stop, it's not your turn yet, Todd."

"Your pardon, I was under the impression that it was very much _my_ turn."

"Ha ha. So, you don't mind if I nibble a bit?"

"That is not what I would call pleasant. ... Ahh, yes, _that_ is very nice. Mmm."

"And what about here?"

"Your hands are very nice. And the flat of your teeth again. I do not think, as you call it, ' _nibbling_ ' is quite as.... _Ahhhh,_ perhaps I spoke too soon."

"I'm noting that, too. Actually, it's a sub note, corollary to above."

"That being?"

"Teeth work better on joints than flat skin. Wanna try an experiment? Bend your leg this way, I need to get to the back of your knee."

" _Ahhh_. I see, and I concur. I must say, I have never had quite so adventurous a partner."

"See all that brain fucking just makes you too vanilla."

"Did you want to rethink any part of that statement?"

"Yeah alright, retracted."

"Are you quite finished?"

"Nope. I mean, I'm no Tarantino but since I'm down here let's go all the way to the bottom."

"Dare I ask?"

"Never mind, I'll add it to the list. I've gotta say, I expected something a little different on the knee here."

"Different how?"

"Well you know how you've got the ridges where your elbow bends?"

"You expected... I do not see how you thought that would work; the skin is thicker, but prominent ridges here where the joint spends a great deal of time in an extended position would be highly impractical."

"True enough. Hey, does this work?"

"I don't- What is funny, Sheppard?"

"Your bafflement. See, for humans there's a bunch of nerves close to the surface of the skin above the knee, and for a lot of people it's really ticklish. "

"Duly noted."

"Oh, I forgot that..."

Yes, your turn is coming."

"But not till I'm done! Okay, stop distracting me."

"I cannot distract you when I am the focus of your attention."

"You can distract me with the wrong bits. I think I skipped the middle of the leg here."

"By all means, explore. I have never found the lower part of the leg particularly erogenous."

"Yeah, but what about this?"

"What about it?"

"Shit. Never mind."

"Hmm. ... _Ahhh, John!_ "

"Here?"

" _There."_

"Okay, that was almost the opposite of what I was expecting. Please don't kick me in the head."

"Then _stop doing that._ "

"Are you sure?"

"Mmm. ....Yes. You are correct, I could injure you. It would be best to wait and find a better position for you to explore this from."

"Alright, then, go ahead and flip over and let me try it the other way."

"Of course. You are certain-"

"Yes, yes. Have to say I like this view."

"Do you prefer it to the previous?"

" _That's_ a question I can't answer. Let's just say I like them both."

"A wise answer."

"Ha, from a wiseass. Hmm, let me try something back down here."

"Mmmm. That is pleasant, though less intense than your teeth."

"Perfect then. And this?"

"Your tongue was much preferable there."

"Noted. And straight up the back of the thighs to... that doesn't mean 'spread your thighs'."

"Are you not interested in looking more closely at this area?"

"Oh ha ha, you are a riot. Fine, you want some of this?"

"Mmmm. Yes, very much, John. .... _mmm, John_."

"No sounding that blissed yet, we're not done."

"I'm quite satisfied w- _unh_ , _yess, that_. More of that."

"Did you forget that I knew about how sensitive you are there?"

"Mmmm, no. But I will admit my thoughts are much scattered, so that I- _unh, John_! _Mmmah._ "

"How about this? Could you come from me playing your spine like a xylophone?"

" _Yes_ , _John_."

"Wow. I did not expect that. Has anyone ever-?"

"I- I don't- I don't know- _John_ , I can't-"

"Shh, shh, it's okay, I'm almost done. Back on familiar territory. God, your shoulders are just so- mmm. Okay, let's do this then."

" _Yes_. .... _Mmmm,_ John."

"Shit. Okay. Let me... Okay, there, how's that?"

" _John._ "

"Wow that is the most demanding, sexy-"

" _John!_ Move."

"Okay, damn. Pushy, pushy."

"Mmmm."

"Mmm. Yeah."

"...You were in the middle of planning something, were you not?"

"What? Oh. Yeah."

"Distracted again, Sheppard?"

"Oh, okay, you're gonna be sorry."

"I don- _ahhhh. Mmmmnn._ "

"Ha. ... Mmmm, shit, _Todd._ "

"You are almost... _Ahhh_ , _yes._ "

"So, I feel like we learned a lot today."

"Sheppard."

"God, the way you say... I, _Todd_ , I..."

"Your turn is coming, Sheppard."

"Shit."

**Author's Note:**

> The idea that Wraith have extra bones in their arms is from [this production drawing](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DWu_pv4V4AAnYYM?format=jpg&name=small), but the bit about them having extra upper body musculature, especially across the shoulders because of the wings they don't have, was an idea I read in another fic and it was awhile ago so I do not remember which one, I'm so sorry. 
> 
> The mention of the earrings is because I froze "The Seer" at just the right moment to see [THIS](https://tmblr.co/ZD3YDi2nZsTXa). Todd, what else are you hiding...


End file.
